i like to eat liver

31 05 2007

i like to eat liver. i like soup that’s been made with liver, i like friend onions with liver, i like boiled liver, fried liver, sauteed liver, grilled liver, i like liver sausages, fish livers and chicken livers, i like the smell of livers cooking, and i especially like to hear the sound of them frying on the fire. i like liver quite a bit.

my mum loves liver as much as i do. she has to be careful though, because she has hypertension and can’t eat things that are high in cholesterol. my dad, on the other hand, will eat liver only if my mum forces him to, like when there is absolutely nothing left in the fridge. my dad hates being late – he drilled the importance of being on time early on into all three of us: “it is better to be five minutes early than one minute late” – and would stop everything he’d be doing to give us a lift any place if it looks like we’re going to be late and can’t drive ourselves. my mum, on the other hand, was surnamed ‘lau’ before she became a manchester, and the joke that the name lau is actually an acronym for ‘late as usual’ is so applicable it’s not even regarded as a joke anymore.

i once waited two hours for her to show up, and each time i called her i felt more and more irritated, whereas her answer was always, “i’m nearly there.”

when i look at my parents, i see me. i have my mum’s appearance, my dad’s temperament, my mum’s and my dad’s personality and sense of humour, a love of reading from nowhere i can tell, and a love for theatre from the same.

so my identity is, i am somewhat taken aback to conclude, closely tied with my parents’. and a day will come when they won’t be the anchors to whom i am bound, and i fear that i will be left bereft.

and that is why we are so fortunate that who we are is not just determined by who our parents are.

st. augustine once famously prayed, “grant me chastity and continence, but not yet” which cracks me up (but that’s not the point i’m trying to get at so we’ll leave that for another time) also wrote,
you have made us for yourself, o lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

whilst reading it, the thought that has become a cliche, that there is a ‘God-shaped hole’ in all of us, comes to mind. but at the same time, the language of it – our heart is restless – is so apt, so lyrical, that our eyes are drawn to it, and our hearts open to the truth of it. i think there are moments that we can find, in every day and every situation, where God, or something He has created, just becomes real for us. whether we acknowledge it or not, however, is another matter altogether.

we’re made to be beings who are just… different… and when we live in this world, we’re blinded by the bright lights and big sounds, the textures, tastes and desires that we’re told to long for, to want. but this word, ‘want,’ means several things, according to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ (go to this page and click on the little speaker button for a good laugh. okay well it amuses me, anyway):

v.tr.
1.
a. To desire greatly; wish for: They want to leave. She wants a glass of water.
b. To desire (someone to do something): I want you to clean your room.
2.
a. To request the presence or assistance of: You are wanted by your office.
b. To seek with intent to capture: The fugitive is wanted by the police.
3. To have an inclination toward; like: Say what you want, but be tactful.
4. Informal To be obliged (to do something): You want to be careful on the ice.
5. To be without; lack.
6. To be in need of; require: “‘Your hair wants cutting,’ said the Hatter” Lewis Carroll.
v.intr.
1. To have need: wants for nothing.
2. To be destitute or needy.
3. To be disposed; wish: Call me daily if you want.
n.
1. The condition or quality of lacking something usual or necessary: stayed home for want of anything better to do.
2. Pressing need; destitution: lives in want.
3. Something desired: a person of few wants and needs.
4. A defect of character; a fault.

we can want in the sense of desiring something or we can want in the sense of lacking something. when we find what we’re looking for, we’re no longer wanting for it. and this is what it’s all about. this is why i like liver. because i am like my parents, and i am made in the image of God. who i am is not determined simply by my parents; who i am is the result of God’s creative genius. [because] we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (ephesians 2:10). beautiful.

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