i actually do have a question…

8 01 2008


it is not your fault. whatever it is that is happening now, that hurts you, that angers you, that depresses you, that’s not your fault. the relationship that is one big eternal heartbreak, melacholy that came from nowhere and seems to be going nowhere soon, a complicated web of half truths and lies to protect someone or something, pointless squabbles between you and the people you love, the sickness of those close to you that you can do nothing about… none of that is your fault.

putting your trust in Jesus doesn’t get rid of the pain, and neither does it dull the sheer difficulty that is everyday life. you’ve been hearing it wrong. just believing and acting every day that you are knowing (present tense to show one is constantly in the process of getting to know something/someone else) the reality of it doesn’t change a thing. all it does is bury the pain deeper and deeper so that it build bigger and bigger until it’s hard to breathe and you’re suffocating from the brutality of having to pretend that everything is… normal.

but there is a hope in the midst of it: this world is not it. do you ever have the feeling that this world we’re in right now, these times of struggle and ambiguity, of warfare, global and personal crises are not “it”? like there is supposed to be more to life, to everything, than this? i’ve heard it said that this life is not “it” and so no matter how crappy things are, or how crappy things get, the goal is the next life. that is, the life we live after we’re dead. we’ll all be sitting in one great big circle, singing ‘grace kelly’ (one of the most sickeningly happy songs in the world, it’ll make the corners of your lips turn up involuntarily).

i don’t buy it.

why do Jesus’ words, “i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” resonate in my soul the way it does? is what i’m doing living life to the full? if there are things that drag me down, then am i living life to the full? maybe there’s something that i’m missing here.

are you living life to the full today, the way Jesus intended for you to live?

maybe what we’re supposed to do is live a little bit more of Him in each day, so that we’re not waiting for a magical moment when Jesus comes back and swipes the magna-doodle of life clean, but rather, we’re bringing His love and grace, humility and compassion a bit closer to now.


it’s just a thought.




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