I’ve got to say…

31 08 2008

Mum’s birthday meant a day of feeling pretty guilty – was I spending enough time with her, was I being a good enough daughter, was I doing the right thing… and it’s been hard, but it’s time for bed now, and the day could have gone a lot worse. I bought a bit too much today, and it’s been therapeutic in a sense as I rarely go shopping like this. Also, it helped to buy stationery for my brother, who’s starting at university on Tuesday.

Stationery stores help to calm me down. I don’t know why.

Classes start tomorrow. ARGH! I feel like I’m so unprepared for it this term but that’s mostly because of the new job and adjusting to all of that. I’m sure this is the place God needs me to be at right now, and it’s been reassuring to have that particular discussion with one of my friends. He has repeatedly affirmed me in my faith and my role as leader at the youth group, and his presence comforts me.

I’m listening to some Red Hot Chilli Peppers right now – they always put me in a goodish mood.

Hide me now…

30 08 2008

Why do we think the worst of ourselves? I’ve been thinking about the whole concept of “me talk,” which is about the way we think when something happens, like when we forget to do something, and it makes us go, Oh, I’m such am idiot! and it kills us inside a little bit every time because we’re saying that of ourselves, and we’re made in the image of the most beautiful being in existence.

And that’s why grace is so amazing.

Most incredible book recently read

30 08 2008

I just finished reading The Kite Runner. It’s the most powerful, most gut-wrenching book I’ve read in a while.

A prayer

29 08 2008

Let us be the remedy…

This morning

28 08 2008

The song below was on  Air1 this morning as soon as I came in, feeling pretty exhausted and a little discouraged. It blessed my soul.

Detour 180 – You Know My Name
From the album Fighting For You

Help me remember the reason I’m alive
And that I was on your mind the day you died
Help me imagine, this is not my home
And some day I’ll be resting by your side

Help me remember the day you won my heart
And you paid my way to freedom with your love
Help me imagine the beauty of this gift
A grace that I am so unworthy of
But you’ll never let me fall away from you

You know my name
You know my story
Still you’ve taken on the world
Just for me
I am amazed that you hear me speaking
You listen close to every word I say
Who am I to be loved this way?
You know my name

If I rise, if I fall
My only hope is this
That you’d be with me everyday
Who am I to be loved this way?

Absolutely… something.

27 08 2008

I’ve never been so tired. It’s not just physical though – it’s mental too, and tomorrow night, instead of having dinner with my old graduated students, I have to be at work until I-don’t-know-when. I’m just a little resentful because I don’t know when my students will be able to get together again, what with term starting and their having to spread out all over the city because of the disgusting lack of sixth form places… I don’t know.

Thought of the day

26 08 2008

One of the best things about working in a Christian school is the many opportunities for fellowship.

After work…

25 08 2008

I didn’t get as much work done as I’d planned to, as I just got off the phone with an old colleague of mine. We talked for about an hour, and I have a little more work to do. I also found out some shocking news. Uncanny!

Work again tomorrow, and Monday is the first class for the MA, 2nd year. Aiya. I don’t feel ready, but I’m also really ready. I have no explanation for it.

Relevance to the world?

24 08 2008

I was just going through the feeds to the websites I subscribe to for their relevance to the world, to my life and experience, and just out of pure fun, and this is one of the posts that caught my eye:

The Bible is more about God pursuing us than it is about us pursuing God. It makes me wonder why we measure our spiritual journey and more often the spiritual journey of others based on how much they are “pursuing God.” Sounds like religious crap to me.

It was taken from Relevant Christian blog. Interesting, no?

The choice we all make

23 08 2008

I was thinking tonight that we all make choices. It seems obvious, but it’s what we do. Every day, every minute, we’re making choices. It’s just what we do as people. And these choices – they might be huge ones, like who we decide to spend the rest of our lives with, or what we want to do for the rest of our lives, but they might be small too, like which side I should part my hair today, or where I should buy my contact lenses fluid next…

But we also choose who or what we worship.

And I choose You.