Letter to a friend

6 12 2008

Thank you for today, for listening to me about the things that are going on in my life right now… the too-muchness of everything, and thank you for not saying the wrong things, for just being there, sitting across from me and just listening…

Thank you for when you started playing the guitar, and quietly sang those songs. Thank you for showing me hope, that there is hope, and that there is authenticity… I don’t know what you shed tears for, but thank you for shedding them with me as I choked and sobbed, for your presence, and for the words you sang. Thank you what you said about your relationship with your sister.

Just… thank you for your friendship.

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Basically, that’s the thing…

4 12 2008

I’ve been burned out and tired, stressed, frustrated and upset over the last week. I don’t know why, other than that I need to make a very, very tough decision. I don’t know what else to do about the situation, because I seem to have, again, misplaced my joy. I am very sick of feeling so sick all the time – not necessarily ill with a cold or something; just sick in the head with all the junk that goes on, with having to pack it all in deep and try to forget about it. And I think I’m done. I just have too much to do, is all… I really, really, really need to get my papers out of the way so I can start grading stuff I haven’t had a chance to grade. I am a terrible teacher, a worse youth leader, and an abysmal student at the moment. Man alive, I need my groove back. Summer of 09, perhaps…