What utter crap

18 04 2009

She’s talking to her sister on the phone right now, and the whole topic is revolving around the topic of children. Rebellious children who do not obey, who do not appreciate the care of their parents, and so on, and so on. She says to her sister that she has learned to let go, and has taught herself to release her own, because she is “thinking clearly now”, and I can’t help saying to myself that this is all utter crap that she is speaking, because I know that she is not letting go, and that is partly why there is such resentment in the household sometimes. She does not, has not, let go of her own siblings, whose lives are trashy and chaotic, and too much for her anyway, so why doesn’t she let go of them already as they just use her and use her family, and she certainly has not “let go” of her own children. And it’s torture sometimes, as she seeks to control every. Single. Thing. 

I am moving out the first chance I get. 

I hope.

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3 responses

1 05 2009
hannah

wondered if your blog ever welcomed comments from immature little beings by any chance. felt a little awkward doing this. anyway, i couldn’t help but wanted to let you know you’re not alone! i share that very feeling too. siblings, oh siblings… i wish i could move out, draw lines between their trashy problems from mine, and claim my independence. unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

sometimes, it’d be nice if there was a time machine. that way, i’ll just force my sister in one of those so she can re-make her decisions again.

1 05 2009
vanessamanchester

Don’t mind comments at all – it’s good to have feedback sometimes! I
don’t have great insights, but blogging always helps me nut things
out. Do you blog?

About the situation you mentioned – I found it a little cryptic; then
I realised that so much about our familial relationships are cryptic
as they often don’t make sense to anyone other than us. Hang in there
– the sibling-to-sibling r’ship gets better as you grow up… at least
mine have… 🙂

2 05 2009
hannah

Hey don’t feel obliged to respond! Though it’s always nice to hear you’re alive and typing. It’s my pleasure to read. And aye, I do blog. Mostly toilet entries though (that’s when I just vent and ramble on, nothing of any use but for my own amusement when I retire). hah!
True true. Things do improve as we grow. Funny thing, though, my sister is actually five years older than I am. Perhaps I expect a lot out of adults to make rational choices for themselves, but now that I am aging towards that mighty eighteen, I guess I am able to empathize a tiny bit more. (Long story “short”: She somehow thought it was a brilliant idea to enroll herself in a Bible college without knowing that Bible college degrees are not recognized by governments anywhere in the world. Now that she spent four or five years into the mini-church music programme with two students–the Bible college decided to cut the department altogether last year, and she wants to come home and work in Hong Kong. It wouldn’t be so bad if all she wanted was a plain job, but she demands that it must be to her liking, which includes a long list of sassy nonsense. She was stubborn enough to ignore our advice five years ago to apply for a university or community college and used the money to develop musical skills she no longer enjoys any more. It’s frustrating for the family in general to allocate the appropriate amount of money between the four of us when I am pending for university, my brother finishing his degree, and my eldest brother still waiting to take the GMAT and MBA. My eldest brother can take care of his own business, but my other brother still has one more year to go, and I’ve got three more (at least))
Oh well, when all hope is gone, God’s our best refuge. After all, I guess we’re all in God’s good hands. Pray Until Something Happens! 🙂

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