A little reassurance

26 04 2011

When I got home after signing the lease, I told him what it looked like and how it’s around 10 steps to make it to the house itself. When he heard that, he jokingly said, “I suppose you don’t want me to come to visit you then,” and I felt very upset. One day last week, when we were finally alone, I held his hand as I told him how unhappy that little joke had made me, as I was always going to want his company, and he squeezed my hand. The quick squeeze he gave me was full of reassurance for me, and my heart calmed for the first time in a week.

Added to that the fact that I seem to have approval from everyone about this move, together with the offers of furniture and appliances, and I’m feeling very, very blessed.

I know that it’s always easier to praise God in the good times, but I have been shown something about Him I hadn’t been witness to, or expectant of, for a while now, and I am again in awe of His goodness.



Tomorrow, tomorrow

25 04 2011

No, this is not yet another post on procrastination, although so much of my life is about precisely that. Tomorrow I’m going to put the deposit down on the house I’ll be living in for the next 2 years, and I’m impossibly excited.

I was so pumped about it that I had to go to the gym to burn some of it off, and ended up doing the pilates class. And then I went for a swim. Followed by time spent in the jacuzzi. It’s a hard life on the holiday days.

So tomorrow is going to be a full day of work, and then I’m off to put down too much money. And then I’m getting my key! Very exciting.

Being surprised by joy and feeling blessed

21 04 2011

I have been ruminating on the offhanded comment that she made the other day as we drove to the shopping complex to park our car before going to look at the house. Her words were to the effect that she had been asking the influential Shatin man to keep his eyes open for a suitable house near where I work. The joy that I felt when she said that was so sudden that I, like so much literature, caught my breath.

All of a sudden, I could no longer see her as being overprotective, or manipulative, but as a small glimmer of hope.

If I have been misinterpreting the actions I’ve grown up with for so long, I suspect my heart truly will break.

And then, of course, there have been the emails throughout today that have repeatedly offered me things that I may need in establishing a household of my own, and I have felt very loved and provided-for by the only One who truly matters.

Being home from work has given me too much time to think about the many things that have crowded in on me in recent days. I need to run all of this energy off.

Always trying to live it up

17 04 2011

I was wrong. We ended up signing a lease after all. It’ll be an adventure.

Image by tiffanyanne3

“Because humans are so private”

17 04 2011

I woke up this morning with great excitement and energy. Today is not the day Jen and I go and sign a lease or whatever, but it’s the day we go and see a place we saw yesterday to verify a few things before making a decision on this village house that’s right next to the train station and shopping complex that is merely a 10-minute minibus ride away.

With all this excitement on the verge of happening, I finally fell asleep at around 2, and popped wide awake at 5:30 this morning. Coffee is the order of the day, yes, but I’ve got my giddy anticipation to keep me going.

I also downloaded and installed an app this morning called beaTunes to help analyse the bpm of my songs. Man, I need a decent playlist to work out to; I’m currently listening the crap out of Fall of Troy, Family Force 5, and AC/DC.

Wow. 2 completely unbeneficial blog posts this week to make up for my failure to maintain the PostAWeek2011 challenge…

Counselling: one year on

15 04 2011

Tonight, I went for the session that marks a year since I started getting counselling, and I realised how much progress I have made.

Key lessons I’ve learned:

  • The things that I get angry or frustrated about are not always my fault
  • What is said to me inevitably comes through a filter of some sort – mine or the speaker’s
  • Making a decision will take time and effort, but they need to be made. Once they’re made, they need to be followed through
  • Don’t over-think. If there is something worth thinking about, avoid thinking too much about it, and move on

It might not be huge, or even much of a list, but the lessons I’ve learned have been invaluable over the course of the past year, with everything that has been happening. One of the things that’s happening as a result of the counselling is that i’ll be looking at some houses tomorrow with a colleague that I’ll hopefully be sharing with next year. It’s been a huge step forward. It’s almost unbelievable though.

I still have a long way to go… but I’m getting there.

On adapting to changes

6 04 2011

One of the things most educators will tell you, regardless of whether they teach in a local grammar school such as the ones in Hong Kong, or an international school such as the one I’m working at now, is that one of the most valuable skills you can learn is to be able to adapt to changes.

The lesson plans we develop initially go through multiple edits, and they are an entirely translucent matter of their own genre: things we deem to be appropriate for this particular class, on this day, can be completely flat in the other class on the same day, even.

This is the challenge I both love and loathe about teaching. In some ways, I wish the lesson plans I wrote in the first year of teaching were applicable across the board, but I know that that would make me a less effective teacher. Not that I am particularly efficient or effective at the moment, necessarily, but I have seen a lot of improvement in my work and in my calling. One of the key lessons I have learned as an English language and then literature teacher is that flexibility in lesson planning is indispensable in an English classroom.