3 01 2013

For the first time ever, I had to skip a Nine Inch Nails song tonight. First time EVER. What is going on?!

And another thing: I caught myself smiling at a small child today. Umm… okay.

I must be going soft.

The whole thing with R is giving me a headache, but there was the other M (1: 12.20), and J (1.1-2) respectively, so life is colourful at the moment, to say the least. 1.16 will be quite a day, as it will be after 1.15, which is the PT. Maybe R will join me in Bangkok, maybe not. We will see.

Must not forget.

The move home wasn’t as tragic as I thought it would be – having all chores done by the helper, all meals cooked by M, and company has all made this easier, although the sight of the poor house quiet and empty was quite painful to me. Never mind. Things will be easier next time.


Unloading part 2

21 09 2012

The news, when it came, was a shock, although the worst case scenario was always a possibility. But who is to say what that even means? Perhaps this is for the best; it’s just difficult to see it as such because the wound is so fresh, and so painful. Giddy anticipation, too-brief reality, and the impending goodbye, are difficult to face when there’s been little sleep and still less distance to reevaluate and consider. This could be the end of that chapter, but the start of something else. The problem is just that with everything else that has been happening recently, it’s hard to cope all at once.

I need perspective, and distance. And time to process all of it.

Unloading: a rough poem

15 09 2012

Time stolen. Intensity. Breathlessness.
Glances. Unbidden tears. Wide smiles.
A too-small space, with closeness forced.
Closed eyes, open ears, full but wondering mind.

The difficulty was always holding back,
Staying in the present,
Not letting things get ahead of themselves.
But the frustration is constant, often.


Knowing so much and yet so little
It’s dragging me down
Squeezing me shut
Wringing me out

A decision will need to be made —
The passion too soon to fade.

Memories of summer 2012

4 08 2012

And here it is, the list of things I’ve read, accomplished, cooked, seen, experienced, and done this summer:


  • The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult
  • Kiss by Jill Mansell
  • Short story- Extricating Young Gussie by P. G. Wodehouse
  • Shakespeare Undead by Lori Handeland
  • Before I Go to Sleep by S. J. Watson
  • The Book of Tomorrow by Cecilia Ahern
  • Today I’m Alice by Alice Jamieson
  • The Help by Katherine Stockett
  • Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
  • The Fifty Shades of Grey series by E. L. James
  • The Stolen Children: their stories edited by Carmel Bird
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
  • Heartsick for Country by Sally Morgan, Tjalaminu Mia, and Blaze Kwaymullina
  • Assumptions That Affect Our Lives by Christian Overman


  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
  • Bridesmaids (2011)
  • Your Highness (2011)
  • The Other Guys (2010)
  • The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
  • Total Recall (2012)
  • Wanderlust (2012)
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
  • Mirror Mirror (2012)
  • Take This Waltz (2011)


  • Fringe
  • Breaking Bad
  • Law and Order: SVU
  • Law and Order: Criminal Intent

Cooking etc.

  • Applesauce muffins
  • Applesauce and apricot bread
  • Apricot and cranberry cake


  • Sydney
  • Adelaide
  • The Ghan
  • Alice Springs
  • Katherine
  • Darwin
  • Cairns
  • Great Barrier Reef
  • Shenzhen, China


  • Bought an original painting – “Elemental Stone” by Ben Rivett
  • Hung out with James, Donna, met new people, tried barramundi, Skyrail, Kuranda Scenic Railway
  • Met Greg
  • Had an intentional date with God


  • Rack for bed to add to bedside table
  • Bought new CDs by John Mayer, Carla Bruni, James Morrison, David Crowder Band, Jason Mraz
  • 2 dresses and a tank top
  • Gerber Vise multi-tool
  • Tarp-poncho made by Kovea
  • Inova X1 torch
  • Kindle Touch
  • Multiple books!

This picture tells the story of my whole summer:

Happiness: in the middle of a rainforest, just in front of a beautiful, secluded beach, with my new hat, a summer dress, and a leather bag on the picnic table behind me

It speaks volumes

1 08 2012

The unsaid still hurts, and the arguments are not frequent, but present.

Always present.

Confusion about why the silence has been going on for a week has meant that the exchange between us has been terse, and filled with the words that both of us would like to say, but which neither one of us is willing to voice. Perhaps “this” is too much, and not meant to be.

Still, it’s been a heck of a summer. What an experience!

Trying to remain positive, I started compiling a list of things I’ve encountered, experienced, tried out, and enjoyed this summer. That list will go up when the summer is officially over – in less than one week. Very sad times.

Sorry, Wim Wenders

31 07 2012

Could not for the life of me finish this movie. And I pride myself on being very broad-minded when it comes to movies. For shame. I’ll have to come back to it another time. Sorry, Wim Wenders.

Recent joy and rediscovery – an old draft

6 07 2012

The day before I came home after the Lunar New Year break, M and I went and parked the car to take a bus to Causeway Bay. Shortly before we boarded the bus, however, we got a call saying that we didn’t need to go anymore, so we were at a bit of a loss as to what to do. What we ended up doing, thus, was an extra surprise and joy for me because it was something that I had always loved to do as a teenager: hop on the next bus that comes.

We ended up taking the 49X to Tsing Yi, getting off finally in Tsuen Wan and walking around the old streets with mama-papa stores, a relic of days gone by. Around every corner was a McDonald’s, a cosmetics chain, or a convenience store, hinting at the rising costs of rent and the state of things to come…

Walking through the streets, passing by stores covered in signs and posters saying, “Going out of business. Everything on sale!” was saddening but the reality of the culture of Hong Kong.

All in all, a day of joy, renewed hope in a relationship with M, and despair too – the flavour of the city is being lost to commercialism. It’s something to think about: what do we leave the next generations, except from generic stores and brands that represent what the world has, and none of the old stores that are family-run.

That is, it’s something to think about until one hops on the next bus that comes. Another adventure, another cause for concern.