Besides…

3 01 2013

For the first time ever, I had to skip a Nine Inch Nails song tonight. First time EVER. What is going on?!

And another thing: I caught myself smiling at a small child today. Umm… okay.

I must be going soft.

The whole thing with R is giving me a headache, but there was the other M (1: 12.20), and J (1.1-2) respectively, so life is colourful at the moment, to say the least. 1.16 will be quite a day, as it will be after 1.15, which is the PT. Maybe R will join me in Bangkok, maybe not. We will see.

Must not forget.

The move home wasn’t as tragic as I thought it would be – having all chores done by the helper, all meals cooked by M, and company has all made this easier, although the sight of the poor house quiet and empty was quite painful to me. Never mind. Things will be easier next time.





Unloading: a rough poem

15 09 2012

Time stolen. Intensity. Breathlessness.
Glances. Unbidden tears. Wide smiles.
A too-small space, with closeness forced.
Closed eyes, open ears, full but wondering mind.

The difficulty was always holding back,
Staying in the present,
Not letting things get ahead of themselves.
But the frustration is constant, often.

Coincidences
Sharing
Doubts
Uncertainty
Lies?

Knowing so much and yet so little
It’s dragging me down
Squeezing me shut
Wringing me out

A decision will need to be made —
The passion too soon to fade.





Memories of summer 2012

4 08 2012

And here it is, the list of things I’ve read, accomplished, cooked, seen, experienced, and done this summer:

Books

  • The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult
  • Kiss by Jill Mansell
  • Short story- Extricating Young Gussie by P. G. Wodehouse
  • Shakespeare Undead by Lori Handeland
  • Before I Go to Sleep by S. J. Watson
  • The Book of Tomorrow by Cecilia Ahern
  • Today I’m Alice by Alice Jamieson
  • The Help by Katherine Stockett
  • Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
  • The Fifty Shades of Grey series by E. L. James
  • The Stolen Children: their stories edited by Carmel Bird
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
  • Heartsick for Country by Sally Morgan, Tjalaminu Mia, and Blaze Kwaymullina
  • Assumptions That Affect Our Lives by Christian Overman

Movies

  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
  • Bridesmaids (2011)
  • Your Highness (2011)
  • The Other Guys (2010)
  • The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
  • Total Recall (2012)
  • Wanderlust (2012)
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
  • Mirror Mirror (2012)
  • Take This Waltz (2011)

TV

  • Fringe
  • Breaking Bad
  • Law and Order: SVU
  • Law and Order: Criminal Intent

Cooking etc.

  • Applesauce muffins
  • Applesauce and apricot bread
  • Apricot and cranberry cake

Travelling

  • Sydney
  • Adelaide
  • The Ghan
  • Alice Springs
  • Katherine
  • Darwin
  • Cairns
  • Great Barrier Reef
  • Shenzhen, China

Done/achieved

  • Bought an original painting – “Elemental Stone” by Ben Rivett
  • Hung out with James, Donna, met new people, tried barramundi, Skyrail, Kuranda Scenic Railway
  • Met Greg
  • Had an intentional date with God

Purchases

  • Rack for bed to add to bedside table
  • Bought new CDs by John Mayer, Carla Bruni, James Morrison, David Crowder Band, Jason Mraz
  • 2 dresses and a tank top
  • Gerber Vise multi-tool
  • Tarp-poncho made by Kovea
  • Inova X1 torch
  • Kindle Touch
  • Multiple books!

This picture tells the story of my whole summer:

Happiness: in the middle of a rainforest, just in front of a beautiful, secluded beach, with my new hat, a summer dress, and a leather bag on the picnic table behind me





It speaks volumes

1 08 2012

The unsaid still hurts, and the arguments are not frequent, but present.

Always present.

Confusion about why the silence has been going on for a week has meant that the exchange between us has been terse, and filled with the words that both of us would like to say, but which neither one of us is willing to voice. Perhaps “this” is too much, and not meant to be.

Still, it’s been a heck of a summer. What an experience!

Trying to remain positive, I started compiling a list of things I’ve encountered, experienced, tried out, and enjoyed this summer. That list will go up when the summer is officially over – in less than one week. Very sad times.





Steel-cut oats in a rice cooker – first time

15 01 2012

So I’ve been reading around the internet about making porridge from steel-cut oats in a rice cooker, and this is what is left of my first attempt:

I had 1 banana in there as it cooked in the rice cooker, and then stirred in some honey and cinnamon when it was all done. Not too bad. Presentation-wise it’s nothing great though.

And then, getting a phone call from M was all that I needed to make this the best of Sundays. Why is it always so easy to see the shortcomings of other people, while completely overlooking our own?





Domesticity part 2

28 12 2011

Tonight, I decided to light scented candles and try out the new aromatherapy oil that I received for Christmas, and as an additional gesture of extravagance, I lit the large candle that has been sitting in my room for 3 weeks, since I received it as a gift.

All of these things, and everything else, I had been saving for a special occasion.

Something changed this break though. All of the saving-it-for-a-special-occasion thoughts vanished as I read over and over again in little notes here and there that there will never be a special occasion during which this should have been saved; the special occasion is in the everyday, in the mundane.

This is what it is all about: the joy in the small things, even as all of life seems to be full of the little things without not enough drama, not enough excitement.

Part of the thoughts are revolving around the fact that the case report for the practicum still needs to be written, but it all seems so much more manageable with the candles and the thought that I could also finally write that letter to J., to tell him what has been happening in this mind of mine.

But, of course, there is always the fear, but then it all seems distant when there is so much to also be thinking about. I am a worrier, after all is said and done.





Current mood

6 11 2011

Some things are happening right now which are wonderful and exciting because of the crunch time that is coming up, which is exhilarating, but there’s one thing that’s happening that is this in my mind right now:

That’s all.