The anticipation on so many levels…

12 08 2012

Although I have long considered myself an adult, my self-imposed bed time (of sorts) has gone completely AWOL in the past 3 months. Given the heady days of chaos leading up to summer, the summer holidays with minimal to no agenda whatsoever, and the current developments in my life, the sleep quality and quantity in my life at the moment is unreliable. R is the most recent cause for my lack of good quality sleep, and the inconsistency, as well as the uncertainty, is very trying.

Tomorrow, school starts again for another year. I’m frantically trying to feel mentally prepared, even though I know that I am ready.

Will I ever feel like a “legit” teacher?!

Maybe not. It is, after all, my 8th year of teaching. If it hasn’t happened yet, and I haven’t begun to feel, more consistently, that I am a decent educator, it’s not likely to happen, as they say. But there is hope, because I know that what I’m doing has value, and a purpose. I am here not of my own choice, but because of something greater. That is what I need to cling to. The improvements that I have observed over the years is legitimate proof of my growth as a teacher, so there is that.

Going back to my parents’ place and seeing this sweet face is always encouraging though, even if he is naughty.



24 03 2011

Exactly 1 hour ago, I thought I heard meowing as I sat on the living room couch under the solitary lightbulb editing my essays on counsellor ethics. Meowing? Now, I have 2 dogs, a scruffy-looking Bichon Frise and a Pekingese/Shih-Tzu mix. No cat. Not since the first and only cat I ever had ran away and broke my heart and the skin on the hands of my father and brother as they tried to bring him home. I literally said, out loud, “What the.” – it didn’t make any sense to me.

I turned towards the kitchen, where the sound was coming from, and thought I must have been imagining it. But no, I listened for it again and heard the distinct meowing sound of a cat. I pursed my lips and made the kissy noises that frequently stirs my scruffy dog into a frenzy and the cat came to me from out of the kitchen.

We occupy the 1st, 2nd, and top floors of a village house, and all the windows were closed for the night. There are no open drains in my home, and the doors were shut. I was dumbfounded and not a little taken aback: how on earth did the cat get in? Had one of the kids snuck it in? Did the helper? How long had the cat been lying in wait before making its appearance? Where did it come from?

The dogs, having never interacted with anything of a feline persuasion, were boundless in their attempts at getting a good whiff of this intruder, but did not bark or make any noises. Unusual. The cat did not seem scared of me, or at least it was putting on a bloody good show of it, and the next thing I knew, it had gone down the stairs, as cool as you please, and waited for me to open the door for it. The whole time, I had the younger of the dogs in my arms because I just knew he’d raise the dead with his yapping if I let him go, and as the cat left my house, a twitching-with-excitement Moses (a ridiculous name for a dog, I know, but he’s kind of a joker himself anyway) alternated between sniffing at the gate, jumping up my shins, and looking wistfully past his own reflection in the plastic at the creature outside that was now making its way out of the garden and into someone else’s home, probably.

Hands down the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me.

A lazy Sunday

1 06 2008

Didn’t go to church as I woke up too late, and dropped the sister off at the airport to board her plane to Bangkok then Kazakhstan for 9 days. Then spent the day shopping in a very crowded shopping centre, and tried on 2 tankinis but bought nothing but books. Came home and spanked the dog for pooing on the stairs again, and then laughed at the 2 of them as they played and wrestled. Combed out Moses’ fur and pulled out a massive clump of fur off the brush. 

It was a good day.