Failure already

23 01 2011

I committed myself to writing one post a week as per the challenge, and I’ve failed at that already. As I sit here, doing the planning work to teach my senior class (and possibly others, but I haven’t decided for sure yet so I might have to go back to the planning aspect of it to make sure, and isn’t that exactly what I’m doing?) about spoken word poetry, I’m beating myself up for having dropped the ball – how did the week pass by so quickly?! – but at the same time, I know without a doubt that the condemnation is not from the One who matters the most.

He doesn’t care that I forgot to blog right on the 21st of January. He only cares that I am who He made me to be, and that I aim to grow more and more into the woman He made me to be, every day. God is my judge, but He’s also the One who most has my back, supporting me against one of the most powerful enemies I could have: me. This is what I need to remember, when everything seems to be going wrong, and I’m feeling “off my game” – that the One Who is Bigger has overcome it all.

So while I may feel like I’ve cut the track short already by missing the 1-week mark by 2 days, I know it’s hardly the end of the world.


I know nothing about cars

14 10 2009

I was on my way to work when 2nd gear broke down for me. I drove the whole way in 3rd and may have killed my car as a result. It’s at the garage, recuperating… I suck.


To completely change the subject, I can’t wait until this dissertation is over and done with. What I could do is really work on it, instead of procrastinating and blogging about how much I want it to be over. Instead, I spent 4 hours this evening with a friend, playing with her son and generally just catching up. 4 HOURS. It was good though; I’m getting close to forgetting what it’s like to have friends that aren’t a decade younger than me.

I have to admit though that I’m starting to feel a little guilty about not blogging on a somewhat-regular basis. Of all the semi-resolutions I made at the beginning of the year, this is the only one that I’m even moderately working on. What is the deal about resolutions that they’re so easily abandoned? What is the point of them?

Obviously these questions are more rhetorical than anything; I just can’t understand myself sometimes.

And then there’s the irrational mood-swings I’ve been having lately. If I were older, I’d just use menopause as an excuse. But of course I don’t even have that. Jeeez.